New York and France's Shenanigans
by The Lazy Italian Firecracker
Summary: France, possibly the biggest pervert around, decides to chase after New York. What kinds of things will happen, and will she be rescued? WILL THIS EVIL FRANCE BE STOPPED?


"Oh York! Come here York!" called France as he roamed through the meeting hall. They had been playing a little sexy game of "hide-and-seek" for a while now, and he wanted to find her very badly.

On the other hand, New York was doing everything in her power to make sure that France DID NOT find her. She requested for California to help.

"Let's get one thing straight, France is mine. The other thing, hide in Russia's coat," said California, gesturing to the Russian man's jacket. New York jumped into one of the larger pockets as Russia walked down the hallway.

He eventually encountered France, who was hitting on him as usual. Unfortunately, when he was about to take off Russia's jacket he had found her. "Ah, there you are mademoiselle..." said France as he picked her up, almost forgetting his original endeavor.

"Russia! Help me! Use your metal pipe or something!" pleaded New York, but the man shook his head.

"Sorry York! France gave me money!" he said, waving around a fake million dollar bill.

"You idiot! That's not even re-" Her sentence was cut off by France's hand.

"Russia!" he called. Russia came over and smacked New York on the head with his metal pipe, smiling cutely and giggling like a negative two year old (or Latvia, take your pick). Everything went black as she passed out.

"Where am I?" she asked as she awakened in an extravagant room with velvet curtains? This had to be an Effie-Trinketing dream! She was also wearing a dress similar to Belarus's.

"Ah, my little princess is awake!" sighed France as he got up from the chair across from her bed. It had seemed he stayed with her the whole entire time she was knocked out cold.

"What do you want now France? This is like the 73rd time you've tried to do this week. And it's only Wednesday," said New York as she rolled onto her side, trying to ignore the annoying Frenchmen behind her.

"Oh come on, do you really have to count?" France said, playing with a strand of her hair. "I just want to know something, York," France whispered seductively into her ear.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU OVERSIZED FROG!" New York screamed at France, kicking his ballsies.

"Oh, mah ballsies!" France yelped, gripping his crotch tightly to rid himself of the sting that New York's foot brought. She got up and stormed away.

"Wait, since when am I oversized?! For your information... I-I-I WORK OUT!" said France as he chased after her.

"GET AWAY FROM ME OR I'LL BEAT ON YOU SO HARD THAT YOUR BUTT WILL BE FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK AND BLUE!" she yelled, throwing one of her flats at him which hit square in his eye.

"God, you're good at throwing things and when did you be able to run faster than me? I get it... YOU MUST BE A VIRGIN!" France yelled after New York. She stopped abruptly, making him fall into her. They ended up on top of each other! Figures.

"Get the shizzle nizzle off me! How dare you reveal that I'm a virgin! GERMANY!" she screamed. The blonde man stood by her in 5 seconds time. Dang, he didn't train for nothing!

"You called meine liebe?" he asked sweetly.

"Yeah don't push your luck blondie... Anyways dispose of this waste immediately. He has revealed my sexual secret..." said New York with a wave her hand. Germany pulled out a gun and pointed it straight at France.

"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I BEG OF YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!..." the Frenchman kept on rambling and just wouldn't shut the fluff up.

"Honey! I didn't mean KILL him. I meant just slap him lightly or something..." said New York, horrified at the fact that Germany had the audacity to kill another country. Well, of course he did, because he was just pure badass.

He put the gun away and slapped France LIGHTLY on the hand. "There, you sick pedophile," he said after picking up New York bridal style and running away.

"How the heck do I always get myself into these situations?" France asked himself as he rubbed his hand.

* * *

**A/N: You may have noticed that this is a little...uncharacteristic. Most of the time, besides heavy drinking, our stories are free of any vulgarity! But, Marie begged me to post it and post it I will. I actually went through and edited it, so if you want to read the original version, it's free to access if you PM me and I'll send it through DocX. Thanks, and have an awesome night!**

**Rose and Marie (mostly Rose XD)**

_P.S.: March Madness people? Yeah, hi! Hoping that the team I like pwns! XD _


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